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How to signify the passage of time in a scene

Discussion in 'Screenwriting' started by E43000, Nov 2, 2011.

  1. E43000

    E43000 Bronze Member

    hi everybody,

    I was just wondering if anyone could help me out with how exactly I correctly signify the passage of time in a single scene.

    The scene, quite simply, entails my main character speed-dating. In my script, I want to show him at different tables talking to different women over a brief period of time. He introduces himself as having a different profession each time.

    Would this make sense?

    --------------------------------------
    INT. TOWN HALL - NIGHT

    Paul is out speed-dating...

    Paul
    Hello, my name is Paul. I am a doctor...

    A BELL sounds.

    TIME CUT TO:

    Paul is now at another table with another girl.

    PAUL
    Hello, I’m Paul. I’m an architect.

    A BELL sounds.

    TIME CUT TO:

    Paul is, again, at another table with another women.

    PAUL
    I’m Paul. I’m a millionairre.
    ------------------------------------------------

    Any help would be much appreciated.
  2. youdothatvoodoo

    youdothatvoodoo Bronze Member

    You wouldn't even need the 'Hello...' intro. Just cut from the first intro to the different careers that he claims. Should add to the humour, too.

    youdothatvoodoo
  3. GingerBlue

    GingerBlue Bronze Member

    I would get the 40 Year Old Virgin script and see exactly how they've done the speed dating scene there. Google it - it's easy to find.
  4. N4TH4N

    N4TH4N Bronze Member

    The answer to your question seems to be answered but this is just a friendly bit of critique. It kind of follows a predictable pattern (being that he always says he has good jobs) I think you could squeeze even more humour out of the situation if you stuck him at a table with a really ugly chick half way through or something. Then to break the pattern and inject a bit of unexpected humour he could say he's unemployed or has a really crap job.
  5. www9370

    www9370 Bronze Member

    Now, I like the last twist that Nathan just put on it... and the suggestions that Youdoo gave you... Now the way that you simplify it in your script is to set it up in the narration first what's going on and the mood and tempo of the scene. After that u just move it thru the differing dialog exchanges - remember this - stay on the tempo of your scene and build on it..

    INT. DATING HALL - NIGHT

    Paul stares terrified at all the trrified faces looking back at him. Then the damn bell rings. after each exchange - we here a PING to move to the next table..


    PROSPECT 1
    Hi, my name is Lola...

    PAUL
    Hi...(gulp)

    PROSPECT 2
    So what you say you do again...

    PAUL
    I work at the Medical Center..

    PROSPECT 3
    ooh, that's sounds very exciting!

    PAUL
    I thought so too .. until

    PROSPECT 4
    You sound married to me...

    PAUL
    I do?

    PING!
  6. oscar.bergman

    oscar.bergman Bronze Member

    When ever I have a hard time putting something in my script, I go to http://www.dailyscript.com/. There I simply look a script up, see how they did it, learn from it and then do something similar in mine
  7. KRace

    KRace Bronze Member

    I like the idea of the PING. And your idea is very humorous.
  8. www9370

    www9370 Bronze Member

    hey KRace, my motto is to always try and find he funny in any sitation...:D

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