Matrix Meets What Dreams May Come - Sci-fi Thriller

[Architectus]

What I'm thinking about doing, though, is to make the opening scene Eto beating the hell out of a punching dummy, perhaps a sparing rubberized robot, or just a dummy. You can tell he's frustrated, and this would be made clear by exchange of words between Eto and his trusty Clean bot. This way, when he kicks ass later, it isn't a surprise that he can kick ass.

[ZellJr]

I get it. Just as I got it when Driver was an ass kicking machine but socially awkward dolt in Drive.

Audiences will get it if they care.

[Architectus]

Zell, well just in case I rewrote parts of scenes. I also found a story inconsistancy. Eto has a bracelet, yet when his suit is ruined, he doesn't just buy a new suit to materialize. He now does this in the new version.

I also set it up so it is clear that Eto is a good fighter. I also fixed many parts in some scenes to show that Eto is not clumsly. There are too many little changes to say where to read, however.

I made it more clear that his fear of heights is what made him uneasy in Fast Shot. He no longer stumbles at all in that scene, etc.

[TaityLJ]

Just to clear up my earlier comments - I did get that he had some training that involved martial prowess, and I got that he didn't want to cause undue harm.

I just thought that the reflexes and skills he displayed in the fight with the thugs showed he had exceptional motor skills and poise. If someone can move like that in a fight, I thought it should carry over into everyday life. They would have a natural balance and poise about them - sort of a survival instinct that they don't even have to think about to maintain, so they would be more immune to stumbling and the like. That's all.

But if he is nervous and scared of heights, perhaps such mental worries play havoc with his physical talents at times. I could believe that, and I think such quirks do make him more endearing.

I didn't mean to make a big thing out of it though - it was just a thought that came to me. I don't think the average movie-goer would mind overmuch.

Sorry if I confused you.

[Architectus]

taity, no your input was well taken. It was an inconsistancy that is fixed in the latest version I uploaded. He no longer stumbles and stuff. I think it makes the story better, so thank you.