If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

I saw the Harry Potter movie last night, and, as usual with a Harry Potter movie, I came away puzzled. It looked great, it was intriguingly dark in places, it made all the right moves, yet, once again by half way through I was looking at my watch and wondering why the cinema seats were so uncomfortable. I decided I’d try to analyse why I’m so bored by Harry Potter, while Frodo keeps me entertained for hours.

First things first.

  • Bad Acting.
    Let’s be honest here. The leads (ie the children) aren’t very good at the acting thing. Even surrounding them with first rate actors like Gary Oldman,  Richard  Griffiths, David Thewlis doesn’t hide the fact they don’t have the emotional range, the technique, the power or the subtlety they need.But that isn’t a problem.  Lord of the Rings brims, almost overflows, with acting of the fine old mahogany variety.
  • It’s adapted from a book and it shows.
    The story meanders, has silly little detours, elements and characters that just don’t go anywhere.  Hmm. Maybe. You can get away with a story that isn’t taut, but you’d better make it funny while you do so.And, thinking about it, Lord of the Rings did have most of its diversions pruned out (to the intense chagrin of Tom Bombadil fans everywhere.)
  • Deus ex machina ending.
    Definitely. I was bored stiff by the end, so I’m not sure this is right, but as far as I remember Voldemort was slugging it out with Dumbledore (why not Harry I don’t know) when the day was saved by the sudden, unmotivated, and and highly convenient arrival of a load of people from the Ministry. Voldemort takes one look, gets scared, and for some reason does a runner. (Hardly the behaviour of the big bad arch demon he has been set up to be.)But then we never actually get Frodo face to face with Sauron anyway either in Lord of the Rings, and that works.

OK. So you know what I think the real problem is?

It’s to do with integrity.

The world of Harry Potter feels like it has been thrown together from elements stolen from every children’s book ever written, all jumbled together like a bag of Botts Beans because each element feels good. The overall effect is thematic confusion. After five or so movies I still don’t think Harry Potter land feels like a real place.

Whereas Middle Earth feels utterly real.

To my mind that comes from Tolkien’s deep understanding of Old English literature, and his obsessive need to work out every inch of the land and every year of millenia of imagined history.

Just a simple example: The names in Middle Earth all feel real. Each race in the story has its own vividly imagined culture, and the way the names grow round different themes and phonetic clusters is just the most obvious sign of that.

The names in Harry Potter feel like a fistful of weak jokes thrown at a wall.

When the dragon flies out over the town of Dale, Tolkien’s references to Beowulf, in both the vocabulary he uses and the actual story events, feel earned, and valid, and organic. I feel like I am witnessing another step in an ancient storytelling tradition that began with oral poets round a fire in a great mead hall.

When JK Rowling gives us giants in this story all I feel is: ‘Oh, another thing she’s stolen and thrown away.’

I could go on, but life is short.

(OK, one last question - can you think of anything in Harry Potter that doesn’t feel like it has been stolen from somewhere else?)

The big question is: Does It Matter? They’re both silly fantasies aren’t they?

Well, they’re both fantasies. But only one of them is silly.

The Lord of the Rings feels like it grows naturally out of a deep understanding and  love for a real, powerful history. It feels like a worthy next step in a mythology that sustained an ancient people for centuries.

The Harry Potter books feel like they were cobbled together out of a pile of moments stolen from half remembered children’s books on a two hour train journey in the rain. (Oh. You mean that’s just exactly what happened?) (Sorry, JK, but that story persists…)

As a writer JK Rowling has a ton of personal magic, so she’s worked absolute wonders with her source material - but it’s based on sand and it won’t sustain.

That’s just my opinion, of course.